Thursday, December 31, 2009
1st January 2010
New Year!
Panahon na ng pagbabago so baka isa ito sa mga baguhin ko.
Blogging pwede namang isulat na lang. You see!
Well, see you around.
Panahon na ng pagbabago so baka isa ito sa mga baguhin ko.
Blogging pwede namang isulat na lang. You see!
Well, see you around.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
so this is the new year.
plainly said you no longer love me and you know it just breaks my heart.
no promises and forever.
no promises and forever.
Blue moon NewYear (let me have one wish)
They say pent-up emotions make you sick. I say it just adds weight to what you are feeling.
As I was walking alone in this one major road at an ungodly hour I keep thinking that it would have been better of I was not a living thing or for us people the "beingness". I wouldn't complain if I am only a ray of light or a sand. I'd rather be like that than feel all this emotions.
The coming New Years makes me lost literally and figuratively.
I dreamed of us touching hands.
Today I am tired of the day that has passed without any meaning at all. I am afraid of what I am thinking the thought I am thinking about me. I find no meaning to what I am doing and I find no meaning with all the breaths I am taking. I find no meaning at all.
This has been very sad and the bubble just burst because of favors that you don't want to do. if escapism wasn't branded as bad I'll go doing that every hour of the day but they say it is bad because you are trying to get away from the reality. Doesn't the world you have created out of escapism is already a reality in its own.
Then we ask what is reality? Yes, coming from the root world real? But what is real? The questions I hope they give an answer.
The feeling I am experiencing right now is exhausting and draining me.
What I would offer world? why does the I need to be called I? When people would say when using your I (your point of view) makes you vain and selfish. What even invent the word I when it is condemned by people who are trying really hard to unite a large group of people for equity and equality (if that ever is really achievable?
If I come back will take you me in under your wings? Will you welcome me home to your heart? Will I ever forgive you?
I am in a stupid mode or maybe there is no mode maybe its just plain stupidity.Let me have one wish
Down is what I am and I think this is the start of the rebellious mode. I wouldn't let those comments get in my way becuase I wouldn't get anything at all from them. Let them have the star becuase I like moons.
As I was walking alone in this one major road at an ungodly hour I keep thinking that it would have been better of I was not a living thing or for us people the "beingness". I wouldn't complain if I am only a ray of light or a sand. I'd rather be like that than feel all this emotions.
The coming New Years makes me lost literally and figuratively.
I dreamed of us touching hands.
Today I am tired of the day that has passed without any meaning at all. I am afraid of what I am thinking the thought I am thinking about me. I find no meaning to what I am doing and I find no meaning with all the breaths I am taking. I find no meaning at all.
This has been very sad and the bubble just burst because of favors that you don't want to do. if escapism wasn't branded as bad I'll go doing that every hour of the day but they say it is bad because you are trying to get away from the reality. Doesn't the world you have created out of escapism is already a reality in its own.
Then we ask what is reality? Yes, coming from the root world real? But what is real? The questions I hope they give an answer.
The feeling I am experiencing right now is exhausting and draining me.
What I would offer world? why does the I need to be called I? When people would say when using your I (your point of view) makes you vain and selfish. What even invent the word I when it is condemned by people who are trying really hard to unite a large group of people for equity and equality (if that ever is really achievable?
If I come back will take you me in under your wings? Will you welcome me home to your heart? Will I ever forgive you?
I am in a stupid mode or maybe there is no mode maybe its just plain stupidity.Let me have one wish
Down is what I am and I think this is the start of the rebellious mode. I wouldn't let those comments get in my way becuase I wouldn't get anything at all from them. Let them have the star becuase I like moons.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Trail of the thoughts towards the house I live in for 20 years
just cannot finish reading my tumblr tonight I need sleep and rest after the gruesome traveling we did. Nice tumblr is in red line which only means that we are out oil and water. Needs to rescued?
It all changes and we are part of that change.
It all changes and we are part of that change.
How do we describe things that words cannot describe? Like for example the universe words are not enough to describe the wonders it shows us. All the colors and shapes just captivates you and makes you want to drown to its expansive space that seems to have no end. It would be amazing to be able to float freely and let the space take where ever you want to go. But that wouldn't be happening our body is not built for outer space.
It is such a wonder if we humans are really alone in this universe that never seems to end and expand as time goes by. As I was writing this my eyes began to drop and I have transported myself to this universe I think I can call my own.
We like possessing the thing around us. We took things to be able to define who we are. Give us the certainty that after all the years of living when we die there is something there for us giving us a different use. The question is do we really have any use? What is the use of our existence when the final definition our life would have is death. What does this rambling about got to do with the majestic universe? Precisely everything in this post is about the universe.
I now wonder what is the use of exploring too much things? Are we even built to carry out this capacity of knowledge we are acquiring? What are we really?
Oh the questions one asks when they face this undefined path they are prodding.
This is the active unconscious mind or perhaps the sub conscious mind of this wrecked little bastard. I wasted my time for almost 3 hours watching those horrible bloody movies. Literally there was blood everywhere and I just hated it. How can we think of those horrible things and being able to persecute them?
Oh you trail of thoughts. No, I am no longer disappointed and depressed with you erasing me on your memory but the truth is I shall say that I have a problem erasing you in mine. What do we do with all the memory I have of you? What do we do with you? That's the right question to ask. Dissect the mind and point out all the memories and just backspace them like nothing happened. Or maybe I should just call the Lacuna people to help me erase my memories of you and me and everything in between that me and you stuff. Maybe I should erase everything start a new life without me. That would be the fun fun fun things.
Whoah. I was able to write a piece that would probably go to a trash bin of your minds and recycled emotions. Bob Dylan is truly love and I positive that I do love him from this special bottom of my heart as if my heart has any sides, ups and bottom. What do we do to recall feelings that seem to have been lost? How do you retrieve them when they don't want to be retrieve.
There was this connection that I now wouldn't last long so let me get my scissors and be the first one to cut it off. But the truth is you were the one who cut is off and then burned it like it never existed. Talking about the existing stuff I remember this scene from Twilight: New Moon if that is the correct title of the movie, this is when Edward tells Bella to just fuck off and don't ever think about of him ever again. Great like its just easy doing that. Look at me I'm really trying hard to get you out of system but you have become a habitus that cannot be taken out easily. You are a disease that has infected me and you have been my world and I the moon revolve around you. You had me wrapped around your finger and I was blindly in love and truly in love at the same time.
Is inlove a one word or is in love a two word? I suck with my grammar i love it twisted and bended but I am super conscious with my spelling that I would check a dictionary to whatever word that boggles my mind with the spelling. words are genius they are the substitutes to the emotions and feelings that cannot be read? I do hope you get it? I am having my doubts will or will I not post my version of autobiography. This statement is a super duh for my version and autobiography just seems to be sisters or brothers.
It is nice to revisit things that happened to us. My shoulders are hurting me already that is because of the typing manner I have the little keyboard I have. Hunched back hurts and I cannot do anything about because the captain himself is injured and now it does end now and here. Good night night you will always be gorgeous like the day.
-o)-
It is such a wonder if we humans are really alone in this universe that never seems to end and expand as time goes by. As I was writing this my eyes began to drop and I have transported myself to this universe I think I can call my own.
We like possessing the thing around us. We took things to be able to define who we are. Give us the certainty that after all the years of living when we die there is something there for us giving us a different use. The question is do we really have any use? What is the use of our existence when the final definition our life would have is death. What does this rambling about got to do with the majestic universe? Precisely everything in this post is about the universe.
I now wonder what is the use of exploring too much things? Are we even built to carry out this capacity of knowledge we are acquiring? What are we really?
Oh the questions one asks when they face this undefined path they are prodding.
This is the active unconscious mind or perhaps the sub conscious mind of this wrecked little bastard. I wasted my time for almost 3 hours watching those horrible bloody movies. Literally there was blood everywhere and I just hated it. How can we think of those horrible things and being able to persecute them?
Oh you trail of thoughts. No, I am no longer disappointed and depressed with you erasing me on your memory but the truth is I shall say that I have a problem erasing you in mine. What do we do with all the memory I have of you? What do we do with you? That's the right question to ask. Dissect the mind and point out all the memories and just backspace them like nothing happened. Or maybe I should just call the Lacuna people to help me erase my memories of you and me and everything in between that me and you stuff. Maybe I should erase everything start a new life without me. That would be the fun fun fun things.
Whoah. I was able to write a piece that would probably go to a trash bin of your minds and recycled emotions. Bob Dylan is truly love and I positive that I do love him from this special bottom of my heart as if my heart has any sides, ups and bottom. What do we do to recall feelings that seem to have been lost? How do you retrieve them when they don't want to be retrieve.
There was this connection that I now wouldn't last long so let me get my scissors and be the first one to cut it off. But the truth is you were the one who cut is off and then burned it like it never existed. Talking about the existing stuff I remember this scene from Twilight: New Moon if that is the correct title of the movie, this is when Edward tells Bella to just fuck off and don't ever think about of him ever again. Great like its just easy doing that. Look at me I'm really trying hard to get you out of system but you have become a habitus that cannot be taken out easily. You are a disease that has infected me and you have been my world and I the moon revolve around you. You had me wrapped around your finger and I was blindly in love and truly in love at the same time.
Is inlove a one word or is in love a two word? I suck with my grammar i love it twisted and bended but I am super conscious with my spelling that I would check a dictionary to whatever word that boggles my mind with the spelling. words are genius they are the substitutes to the emotions and feelings that cannot be read? I do hope you get it? I am having my doubts will or will I not post my version of autobiography. This statement is a super duh for my version and autobiography just seems to be sisters or brothers.
It is nice to revisit things that happened to us. My shoulders are hurting me already that is because of the typing manner I have the little keyboard I have. Hunched back hurts and I cannot do anything about because the captain himself is injured and now it does end now and here. Good night night you will always be gorgeous like the day.
-o)-
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Christmas Blast
Lantern Parade masaya. Ako, Ikaw, Tayo ay isang Pamayanan.
H.S. Batch Christmas reunion masaya at alam ko na kung bakit ayoko ng alak dahil allergic ako sa kanya. After drinking a lot- pantal ang buong katawan ko.
Corregidor family trip yeah the best with panakot pa yan. Oo, duwag ako. Hahaha.
At ako ay nandito stuck parin sa lugar na ito at sa iyo.
Blast ba yun hindi pero sige blast narin.
Okie tulog na ako at goodnight sa ating lahat.
-----------------------------
Abandoned Love
I can hear the turning of the key
I've been deceived by the clown inside of me.
I thought that he was righteous but he's vain
Oh, something's a-telling me I wear the ball and chain.
My patron saint is a-fighting with a ghost
He's always off somewhere when I need him most.
The Spanish moon is rising on the hill
But my heart is a-tellin' me I love ya still.
I come back to the town from the flaming moon
I see you in the streets, I begin to swoon.
I love to see you dress before the mirror
Won't you let me in your room one time 'fore I finally disappear?
Everybody's wearing a disguise
To hide what they've got left behind their eyes.
But me, I can't cover what I am
Wherever the children go I'll follow them.
I march in the parade of liberty
But as long as I love you I'm not free.
How long must I suffer such abuse
Won't you let me see you smile one time before I turn you loose?
I've given up the game, I've got to leave,
The pot of gold is only make-believe.
The treasure can't be found by men who search
Whose gods are dead and whose queens are in the church.
We sat in an empty theater and we kissed,
I asked ya please to cross me off-a your list.
My head tells me it's time to make a change
But my heart is telling me I love ya but you're strange.
One more time at midnight, near the wall
Take off your heavy make-up and your shawl.
Won't you descend from the throne, from where you sit?
Let me feel your love one more time before I abandon it.
H.S. Batch Christmas reunion masaya at alam ko na kung bakit ayoko ng alak dahil allergic ako sa kanya. After drinking a lot- pantal ang buong katawan ko.
Corregidor family trip yeah the best with panakot pa yan. Oo, duwag ako. Hahaha.
At ako ay nandito stuck parin sa lugar na ito at sa iyo.
Blast ba yun hindi pero sige blast narin.
Okie tulog na ako at goodnight sa ating lahat.
-----------------------------
Abandoned Love
I can hear the turning of the key
I've been deceived by the clown inside of me.
I thought that he was righteous but he's vain
Oh, something's a-telling me I wear the ball and chain.
My patron saint is a-fighting with a ghost
He's always off somewhere when I need him most.
The Spanish moon is rising on the hill
But my heart is a-tellin' me I love ya still.
I come back to the town from the flaming moon
I see you in the streets, I begin to swoon.
I love to see you dress before the mirror
Won't you let me in your room one time 'fore I finally disappear?
Everybody's wearing a disguise
To hide what they've got left behind their eyes.
But me, I can't cover what I am
Wherever the children go I'll follow them.
I march in the parade of liberty
But as long as I love you I'm not free.
How long must I suffer such abuse
Won't you let me see you smile one time before I turn you loose?
I've given up the game, I've got to leave,
The pot of gold is only make-believe.
The treasure can't be found by men who search
Whose gods are dead and whose queens are in the church.
We sat in an empty theater and we kissed,
I asked ya please to cross me off-a your list.
My head tells me it's time to make a change
But my heart is telling me I love ya but you're strange.
One more time at midnight, near the wall
Take off your heavy make-up and your shawl.
Won't you descend from the throne, from where you sit?
Let me feel your love one more time before I abandon it.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
tadadadadan done.
This was supposed to be a prelude to a great day (wed.)
Lost half of the blood of my body today.
Almost fainted and was shaking terribly.
I was stuttering and everything wasn't what it is supposed to be.
Thrilled, palpitations, flutters, disappointments and all the other feelings surmounting at that specific moment.
Regain composure pat myself on the back and walked away half dead and barely alive.
Redundancy on these pages are pretty clear and I'll never be me again.
The lost bloods are splattered all over and there is now way I will be able to solidify it again.
Coldness was captured by my body like like thermos trapping heats.
Now I offer myself to these pestering bloodsucking mosquitoes for I have nothing more to lose.
Today is tadadadadan done day.
Goodnight night and happy exams tomorrow.
Do your best and celebrate.
Lost half of the blood of my body today.
Almost fainted and was shaking terribly.
I was stuttering and everything wasn't what it is supposed to be.
Thrilled, palpitations, flutters, disappointments and all the other feelings surmounting at that specific moment.
Regain composure pat myself on the back and walked away half dead and barely alive.
Redundancy on these pages are pretty clear and I'll never be me again.
The lost bloods are splattered all over and there is now way I will be able to solidify it again.
Coldness was captured by my body like like thermos trapping heats.
Now I offer myself to these pestering bloodsucking mosquitoes for I have nothing more to lose.
Today is tadadadadan done day.
Goodnight night and happy exams tomorrow.
Do your best and celebrate.
Monday, December 14, 2009
15 minutes before you.
Okie need to need to finish my homework
because it is pass my bed time.
yes a twenty-year old like me have curfews which i had set myself.
I'm a lover of sleep and I love my dreams even if most of the time my dreams are horrible. The consolation i get from dreams i feel more alive in that world than this reality i am currently breathing in out this filthy air.
I can't seem to stop myself from writing. Is there such a thing addiction to writing?
That is totally brand new crazy.
The disease of writing.
The disease of reading.
The disease of sleeping.
I am all of that.
and for the next letters ajiyeteurhlhoiehflhflhefjelfhwsghf.
Goodnight night.
Goognight night. (sadya ito men)
because it is pass my bed time.
yes a twenty-year old like me have curfews which i had set myself.
I'm a lover of sleep and I love my dreams even if most of the time my dreams are horrible. The consolation i get from dreams i feel more alive in that world than this reality i am currently breathing in out this filthy air.
I can't seem to stop myself from writing. Is there such a thing addiction to writing?
That is totally brand new crazy.
The disease of writing.
The disease of reading.
The disease of sleeping.
I am all of that.
and for the next letters ajiyeteurhlhoiehflhflhefjelfhwsghf.
Goodnight night.
Goognight night. (sadya ito men)
on second thoughts
... I think it is better to keep the poems to myself for now because it needs polishing and re-arranging of words and rhymes.
I have completely resolved to myself to always bring papers, pens and pencils to be able to scribble down all the thoughts that comes to mind.
Write.
Jot.
Sketch.
Doodle.
whatever it may be it just needs to be on paper so I wouldn't forget.
To keep you hanging and for the thrill I'll be posting poems next time.
Now I need to go back making papers for academic purpose.
Like it? NO.
I have completely resolved to myself to always bring papers, pens and pencils to be able to scribble down all the thoughts that comes to mind.
Write.
Jot.
Sketch.
Doodle.
whatever it may be it just needs to be on paper so I wouldn't forget.
To keep you hanging and for the thrill I'll be posting poems next time.
Now I need to go back making papers for academic purpose.
Like it? NO.
After you
I was so inspired by the video clips that I have watched and this documentary about a great writer or poet I must say that I started writing my own poems. I try giving it a break maybe something good will come out of these delirious mind of mine. Sometimes it doesn't take practice at all. Sometimes it just takes pure talent which I don't have. So what to do? I'll still try and maybe be able to produce something good. Maybe I should start writing poems in Filipino. What do you think? I don't know!
I'm going to post the sample after posting this entry.
I'm going to post the sample after posting this entry.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
December sec entry
Yikes first entry ko pala yun ngayong december.
Oi. Pasko na! Anong gusto mong regalo?
Ang weird pero di na ko nasasabaw ngayon. Oh days just like all the other days when I'm not with you. I no longer use words and expressions that just seem to lose its meaning when I lost you.
Madrama. Always naman.
Maligayang malamig na panahon sa ating lahat.
Ang Baguio ay masaya at maaliwalas akala ko na namiss ko siya ang Baguio pero hindi pala. Ganun lang talaga.
I making my life worthwhile. Ano pa nga ba ang worth eh plain flat naman talaga.
Ayan kailangan ko na talagang gawin ang aking assignment. Curse you thesis.
Oi. Pasko na! Anong gusto mong regalo?
Ang weird pero di na ko nasasabaw ngayon. Oh days just like all the other days when I'm not with you. I no longer use words and expressions that just seem to lose its meaning when I lost you.
Madrama. Always naman.
Maligayang malamig na panahon sa ating lahat.
Ang Baguio ay masaya at maaliwalas akala ko na namiss ko siya ang Baguio pero hindi pala. Ganun lang talaga.
I making my life worthwhile. Ano pa nga ba ang worth eh plain flat naman talaga.
Ayan kailangan ko na talagang gawin ang aking assignment. Curse you thesis.
Was It Worth It
Are you even worth re-blogging?
I just missed class today because I have this terrible headache and I had to assist my mom because she was really sick.
Back to work I have I have to finish a homework.
I just missed class today because I have this terrible headache and I had to assist my mom because she was really sick.
Back to work I have I have to finish a homework.
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