huli pala itong calendar dito. New Year na eh 31 pa lang dito. Fine magpost uli ako bukas para 1 na talaga. Kaloko naman kasi eh!

1st January 2010

New Year!

Panahon na ng pagbabago so baka isa ito sa mga baguhin ko.
Blogging pwede namang isulat na lang. You see!

Well, see you around.

so this is the new year.

plainly said you no longer love me and you know it just breaks my heart.
no promises and forever.

pasensya na sa mahaba kong post na half asleep ko ng ginagawa.

Just want to greet everyone who is alive and reading this vlog (kung meron man)a Happy New Year. Yes, bagong taon nanaman.

Blue moon NewYear (let me have one wish)

They say pent-up emotions make you sick. I say it just adds weight to what you are feeling.

As I was walking alone in this one major road at an ungodly hour I keep thinking that it would have been better of I was not a living thing or for us people the "beingness". I wouldn't complain if I am only a ray of light or a sand. I'd rather be like that than feel all this emotions.

The coming New Years makes me lost literally and figuratively.

I dreamed of us touching hands.

Today I am tired of the day that has passed without any meaning at all. I am afraid of what I am thinking the thought I am thinking about me. I find no meaning to what I am doing and I find no meaning with all the breaths I am taking. I find no meaning at all.

This has been very sad and the bubble just burst because of favors that you don't want to do. if escapism wasn't branded as bad I'll go doing that every hour of the day but they say it is bad because you are trying to get away from the reality. Doesn't the world you have created out of escapism is already a reality in its own.
Then we ask what is reality? Yes, coming from the root world real? But what is real? The questions I hope they give an answer.

The feeling I am experiencing right now is exhausting and draining me.
What I would offer world? why does the I need to be called I? When people would say when using your I (your point of view) makes you vain and selfish. What even invent the word I when it is condemned by people who are trying really hard to unite a large group of people for equity and equality (if that ever is really achievable?

If I come back will take you me in under your wings? Will you welcome me home to your heart? Will I ever forgive you?

I am in a stupid mode or maybe there is no mode maybe its just plain stupidity.Let me have one wish

Down is what I am and I think this is the start of the rebellious mode. I wouldn't let those comments get in my way becuase I wouldn't get anything at all from them. Let them have the star becuase I like moons.

Trail of the thoughts towards the house I live in for 20 years

just cannot finish reading my tumblr tonight I need sleep and rest after the gruesome traveling we did. Nice tumblr is in red line which only means that we are out oil and water. Needs to rescued?

It all changes and we are part of that change.

How do we describe things that words cannot describe? Like for example the universe words are not enough to describe the wonders it shows us. All the colors and shapes just captivates you and makes you want to drown to its expansive space that seems to have no end. It would be amazing to be able to float freely and let the space take where ever you want to go. But that wouldn't be happening our body is not built for outer space.

It is such a wonder if we humans are really alone in this universe that never seems to end and expand as time goes by. As I was writing this my eyes began to drop and I have transported myself to this universe I think I can call my own.

We like possessing the thing around us. We took things to be able to define who we are. Give us the certainty that after all the years of living when we die there is something there for us giving us a different use. The question is do we really have any use? What is the use of our existence when the final definition our life would have is death. What does this rambling about got to do with the majestic universe? Precisely everything in this post is about the universe.

I now wonder what is the use of exploring too much things? Are we even built to carry out this capacity of knowledge we are acquiring? What are we really?
Oh the questions one asks when they face this undefined path they are prodding.

This is the active unconscious mind or perhaps the sub conscious mind of this wrecked little bastard. I wasted my time for almost 3 hours watching those horrible bloody movies. Literally there was blood everywhere and I just hated it. How can we think of those horrible things and being able to persecute them?

Oh you trail of thoughts. No, I am no longer disappointed and depressed with you erasing me on your memory but the truth is I shall say that I have a problem erasing you in mine. What do we do with all the memory I have of you? What do we do with you? That's the right question to ask. Dissect the mind and point out all the memories and just backspace them like nothing happened. Or maybe I should just call the Lacuna people to help me erase my memories of you and me and everything in between that me and you stuff. Maybe I should erase everything start a new life without me. That would be the fun fun fun things.

Whoah. I was able to write a piece that would probably go to a trash bin of your minds and recycled emotions. Bob Dylan is truly love and I positive that I do love him from this special bottom of my heart as if my heart has any sides, ups and bottom. What do we do to recall feelings that seem to have been lost? How do you retrieve them when they don't want to be retrieve.

There was this connection that I now wouldn't last long so let me get my scissors and be the first one to cut it off. But the truth is you were the one who cut is off and then burned it like it never existed. Talking about the existing stuff I remember this scene from Twilight: New Moon if that is the correct title of the movie, this is when Edward tells Bella to just fuck off and don't ever think about of him ever again. Great like its just easy doing that. Look at me I'm really trying hard to get you out of system but you have become a habitus that cannot be taken out easily. You are a disease that has infected me and you have been my world and I the moon revolve around you. You had me wrapped around your finger and I was blindly in love and truly in love at the same time.

Is inlove a one word or is in love a two word? I suck with my grammar i love it twisted and bended but I am super conscious with my spelling that I would check a dictionary to whatever word that boggles my mind with the spelling. words are genius they are the substitutes to the emotions and feelings that cannot be read? I do hope you get it? I am having my doubts will or will I not post my version of autobiography. This statement is a super duh for my version and autobiography just seems to be sisters or brothers.

It is nice to revisit things that happened to us. My shoulders are hurting me already that is because of the typing manner I have the little keyboard I have. Hunched back hurts and I cannot do anything about because the captain himself is injured and now it does end now and here. Good night night you will always be gorgeous like the day.

-o)-

Christmas Blast

Lantern Parade masaya. Ako, Ikaw, Tayo ay isang Pamayanan.
H.S. Batch Christmas reunion masaya at alam ko na kung bakit ayoko ng alak dahil allergic ako sa kanya. After drinking a lot- pantal ang buong katawan ko.
Corregidor family trip yeah the best with panakot pa yan. Oo, duwag ako. Hahaha.
At ako ay nandito stuck parin sa lugar na ito at sa iyo.
Blast ba yun hindi pero sige blast narin.
Okie tulog na ako at goodnight sa ating lahat.

-----------------------------
Abandoned Love

I can hear the turning of the key
I've been deceived by the clown inside of me.
I thought that he was righteous but he's vain
Oh, something's a-telling me I wear the ball and chain.

My patron saint is a-fighting with a ghost
He's always off somewhere when I need him most.
The Spanish moon is rising on the hill
But my heart is a-tellin' me I love ya still.

I come back to the town from the flaming moon
I see you in the streets, I begin to swoon.
I love to see you dress before the mirror
Won't you let me in your room one time 'fore I finally disappear?

Everybody's wearing a disguise
To hide what they've got left behind their eyes.
But me, I can't cover what I am
Wherever the children go I'll follow them.

I march in the parade of liberty
But as long as I love you I'm not free.
How long must I suffer such abuse
Won't you let me see you smile one time before I turn you loose?

I've given up the game, I've got to leave,
The pot of gold is only make-believe.
The treasure can't be found by men who search
Whose gods are dead and whose queens are in the church.

We sat in an empty theater and we kissed,
I asked ya please to cross me off-a your list.
My head tells me it's time to make a change
But my heart is telling me I love ya but you're strange.

One more time at midnight, near the wall
Take off your heavy make-up and your shawl.
Won't you descend from the throne, from where you sit?
Let me feel your love one more time before I abandon it.

tadadadadan done.

This was supposed to be a prelude to a great day (wed.)
Lost half of the blood of my body today.
Almost fainted and was shaking terribly.
I was stuttering and everything wasn't what it is supposed to be.
Thrilled, palpitations, flutters, disappointments and all the other feelings surmounting at that specific moment.
Regain composure pat myself on the back and walked away half dead and barely alive.
Redundancy on these pages are pretty clear and I'll never be me again.
The lost bloods are splattered all over and there is now way I will be able to solidify it again.
Coldness was captured by my body like like thermos trapping heats.
Now I offer myself to these pestering bloodsucking mosquitoes for I have nothing more to lose.

Today is tadadadadan done day.
Goodnight night and happy exams tomorrow.
Do your best and celebrate.

15 minutes before you.

Okie need to need to finish my homework
because it is pass my bed time.
yes a twenty-year old like me have curfews which i had set myself.

I'm a lover of sleep and I love my dreams even if most of the time my dreams are horrible. The consolation i get from dreams i feel more alive in that world than this reality i am currently breathing in out this filthy air.
I can't seem to stop myself from writing. Is there such a thing addiction to writing?
That is totally brand new crazy.
The disease of writing.
The disease of reading.
The disease of sleeping.
I am all of that.

and for the next letters ajiyeteurhlhoiehflhflhefjelfhwsghf.
Goodnight night.
Goognight night. (sadya ito men)

wishing i was getting better.
which i don't know if its fair for me to judge myself.

on second thoughts

... I think it is better to keep the poems to myself for now because it needs polishing and re-arranging of words and rhymes.

I have completely resolved to myself to always bring papers, pens and pencils to be able to scribble down all the thoughts that comes to mind.

Write.
Jot.
Sketch.
Doodle.

whatever it may be it just needs to be on paper so I wouldn't forget.

To keep you hanging and for the thrill I'll be posting poems next time.

Now I need to go back making papers for academic purpose.

Like it? NO.

After you

I was so inspired by the video clips that I have watched and this documentary about a great writer or poet I must say that I started writing my own poems. I try giving it a break maybe something good will come out of these delirious mind of mine. Sometimes it doesn't take practice at all. Sometimes it just takes pure talent which I don't have. So what to do? I'll still try and maybe be able to produce something good. Maybe I should start writing poems in Filipino. What do you think? I don't know!

I'm going to post the sample after posting this entry.

December sec entry

Yikes first entry ko pala yun ngayong december.
Oi. Pasko na! Anong gusto mong regalo?

Ang weird pero di na ko nasasabaw ngayon. Oh days just like all the other days when I'm not with you. I no longer use words and expressions that just seem to lose its meaning when I lost you.

Madrama. Always naman.

Maligayang malamig na panahon sa ating lahat.
Ang Baguio ay masaya at maaliwalas akala ko na namiss ko siya ang Baguio pero hindi pala. Ganun lang talaga.

I making my life worthwhile. Ano pa nga ba ang worth eh plain flat naman talaga.
Ayan kailangan ko na talagang gawin ang aking assignment. Curse you thesis.

Was It Worth It

Are you even worth re-blogging?

I just missed class today because I have this terrible headache and I had to assist my mom because she was really sick.

Back to work I have I have to finish a homework.

What ever happened?

Where do we go from here? The massacre that happened in Maguindanao makes me question a lot. What ever happened? Are we really this hungry for power and position that we would kill people who are defenseless? I don't know what to feel. Reading the news just makes me cry and be angry to our damn society. Ruthless and undeniably evil. What do we do? What will I do? I don't this kind of event makes me feel more powerless and losses hope for the future of our country. Why kill at all? What did the killers got from what they did?

When we try so hard achieving peace and equity this blows into your face and then again we are all shattered.

We are really the culprit and agents of havoc ever to exist and walk on earth.

Again what do we do?

What ever happened?

I'm no passive at all

the title of the blog may have given you the idea that the author of this blog is just a mere passive person. Well I'm not a passive person and I'm not dying. The idea of passing here is someone who tries to experience everything that is around her and trying to create an experience of her own. I'm just clearing the passing "thing" which is not entirely equal to passivity.

-o)-

I'm going back to school.
See you later.

Consider this

This coming 2010 election I'm going to vote for someone who clearly states their platform. Let us stop looking at the characteristic of the person it wouldn't take this country anywhere at all. Let us vote for someone who has practical visions that would improve the state of our country today.

RoygbiV

It was around August of last last year we we're talking on the phone for hours. I was inside the bathroom of a fancy hotel and you were home. We talked for hours and talk of things that are out of this world. We are awake when half of the world is asleep. It was you and I existing at that very night. I remember it just like it was just yesterday. I miss you.

kalokohan near you always

Natapos narin ang pag download ng mga bagay bagay.
Masaya naman talaga pag natapos na madowload ang mga bagay na gusto mong
madownload. meron akong mahigit na 4 hours na pagtambay sa eskwelahan dahil oo bungi ang aking sked para sa sem na ito. Sana dahil sa bungi kong sked ay magkaroon ako ng sipag na magbasa ng maraming libro para sa thesis namin. Para sa thesis namin. Para sa thesis namin. Okie ba yun? Hindi ko alam pero dapat oo.

Bakit ang dami nanamang lamok?
Dahil malapit na ang new moon?
okie syempre joke lang iyon.
Kung di mo gets okie lang kasi di ko rin gets.
pero sa totoo lang oo gets ko malamang bat ko naman sasabihin yun kung di ko gets di ba?

okie ang aking first day ay peste dahil sa aking headache
tingnan natin ang aking second day kung ayos ba. Sana ayos siya dahil seven ako magigising para lang sa subject na yun. After ko mag vow na di na ako kukuha ng seven am na class.
Okie yun lang share ko lang sa inyo.

errors

i am so sleepy

and so they say

Can't blame the weather for our losses.

I manage to have some stupid conversation

*I'm just copying something that I written earlier. It was actually just seconds ago. i would just like to add that sandalwood do smell good.

Follow me because I am a fool. I have my mind on trends of being wrecked because of thinking about this and that. Today I had a great day because first of all the day was really beautiful. I just slack in our office designated area and got lost in the 90’s music (that I really love). I forgot how good the sound of 90’s was compared to the current music. Surf the web with other archaic things and I came across your Love Thing funny how things come around. The world is so great with recycling things. Then after eating brunch we watched a Bob Dylan movie slashed documentary “No Direction Home” and the whole time my heart was fluttering (kilig ako men).

It is just nice to be with your family who are all quirky and just makes you laugh. This is already a nice life. After those depressing days (which is just last week) I have completely recovered and will take things slowly and just enjoy it. You damn elective will pay up.

Strange I am still awake and trying to normally function even half of me is already asleep and dreaming of something strange. Pardon me, for borrowing some of your words miss Lisa Loeb. Yes, that was again a good hunt for me at You Tube. Just waiting it for to be attached. Last night I caught myself squishing our pets really hard. It hard to control it especially if they are extremely overly have this undeniable cuteness.

Wow, it almost end of the year. 09 just passed like Santi. It was fast and furious for me. Haha. No other words to describe the year I just experienced. But ironically in all my years in college last semester was the longest (that I have experienced). Super weird! Glad thatis over and done!

I’m gonna immersed myself into serious readings and writings because this semester is the thesis semester. Oh yeah! Super fun and challenging.

Death, Passing and being Reborn

Calculating stuff.
Just need to stare at the blank page.
The words I and you was just written out
but it was never meant to be.

Cold damp weathers make you misty
Rainy nights make you cry
And nights just make you lonely.

when Death has become of me

After just having a good evening last night. Today I receive a terrible news that nothing has been credited from my past major subjects to be an elective of my now current course. This day is a total fail and from this moment of I have succumb to the slow death that has come to me. I never knew that this will be the payment of some idiotic decisions that I have made. This is the result for the mad rush for love. I purely as of now condemn love. I'll try and focus on my study and I'll do my best to get it over and done because I'm not enjoying it anymore.

True when there is no passion for the things you do it is bound to fail. Things can be done but you are not happy at all.

So much for the regret Isya. It is never going to help you in attaining anything at all.

the brand new you

to be somewhat kinda of techy.
hahahaha. bago ito men bago. wala pang five minutes ito men.
hahaha.

whoah. 2008 must be really something!

ready you go!

We could never really trust words like forever and infinity. Everything has its ends like your love and even my love. I was never sure if ever write the word love again. The word brings different memories of you and me. This is not really a proper essay. I begun formulating it in my mind after watching 500 Days of Summer and riding a jeepney from school. Maybe the cold weather has also contributed to the emptiness or fullness my heart feels. Essays of you would be a carefully thought essay regarding you. I doesn't matter whoever you I'm talking about.

my view of you again

you just don't get my post most of the time because they are never meant to be understood by anyone but me.

Buy auto!

I'm trying to finish my autobiography.
It gets harder to write autobiography as you grow older because well more things should be remembered. So write your autobiography while you're still young and your memory is as good brain enhancer.

Bitter moments tend to be no bitter anymore once they are written and told.
You just accept it as something very helpful. There is damning anymore. It is just pure acceptance and past.

It is good to look back once in a awhile see what you have accomplished and what is still needed to be accomplish.
Hay buhay ni Isya. I just wish that I wasn't here right now as of this moment.

when everything is not okay.

i can't write my autobiography!

May Araw Din Kayo

Maganda sana ang araw ko kahapon pero sinira ng apat na magkakaibigan na kumakain din sa kinainan namin kagabi. Masarap sa Mister Kebab kahit nung sobrang liit pa lang niya kainan kumakain na kami. Hindi ko lang maintindihan kung bakit pinapayagan ng mga establishment tulad nito na manigarilyo sa loob ng kainan. Ganoon ba ang mababawas sa kanila na mga customer kung ipagbabawal nila ito. Bilang maraming bata at matanda ang kumakain sa kanila sana meron man lang silang konsiderasyon sa mga costumer na tulad nila. Ang mas nakakasira pa ng araw ay ang apat na magkakaibigan na yun ay wala man lang pakiramdam na sila ay nakakaistorbo at nakakabanas na ng ibang tao. Kung maari ko pang sabihin sa ibang salita napaka walang hiya nila at napaka insensitive. Kung ang ugali ng lahat ng tao ay ganun napaka walang pagasa na nitong mundong ito. Dahil simpleng ganun lang napag-isip sa kapwa ay hindi na nila magawa.

Tanginumin niyo hindi kayo nakakatuwa at mamatay din kayo (kaya lang nangdadamay pa kayo). I do belivie in Karma at kung ano man makuha ko sa pagsusulat nitong piece na ito tatanggapin ko dahil nasa tamang lugar ako at lulubusin ko na ang galit ito ang para sa inyong apat at sa mga katulad niyo pa Fuck You Assholes! Hinayupak kayo! Lahat na ng badwords sa mundo sa inyo na!

too bad

you always say i am good
but you only say that to emphasize that you are better

time changes everything

at this very second i am me
and the next second i am different.

my view of you

you are just 160
and nothing more

we were fools pretending and competing with each other
we thought it was love but the truth it was really nothing
it was just a feeling to make us feel better but it was nothing.

not being able to take it back

archives of moments and thoughts that just passed away

Blogspots Bday!

Today I am totally bummed.
I have a lot of things to do but I can't find a way to start doing it.
This is a moment when I just want to do nothing.
But I become so restless of doing nothing at all.
Loser day.

ano nga ba ako?

unang panalita ngayon.
gusto ko magsulat ng tula ngunit wala ng creative ang lumalabas sa aking utak sanhi at ito ng pagkalulong sa realidad at sa mga numero na laging laman ng utak.
gusto maging si isya muli na nakapagbabasa ng mga libro kung saan ako nakakatakas sa mundo na aking ginagalawan
gusto kong mawala sa ibang kalawakan na magbibigay sakin ng kakaibang karanasan.
gusto ko ito ngayon ang ginagawa ko dahil matagal tagal ko narin itong di nagagawa.
pangalawang panalita ngayon.
ako si isya pagod at gutom.
di na makapagisip kong anong gagawin na susunod
ito ang aking mga listahan ng gagawin
CD 126 proposal paper
PI 100 handout para sa report
SW 120 pag-aaral para sa nalalapit na exam
CD 122 Case Study
ako si isya. ngunit ano ako?
Bukas ako parin kaya ako kung ano ang mga naisulat ko ngayon?
Ako parin kaya si isya na kilala ko ngayon.
pangatlong panalita ngayon.

ito ay saglit lamang

ang lahat ay ngyari sa isang saglit na di na na natanto ang gustong malaman.

This is my idea of heaven

lying here with you....

Song song song in my head.

L

Loser ang june isa lang post entry!

meeting the ends

"flow sweetly hang heavy
you suddenly complete me"

Ang kinababaliwan na kanta ni Isya ngayon ay galing sa Yeah Yeah Yeahs na band.
Grabe at sobrang nakakapagod ang araw na ito merong naganap na di kanaisnais
ang di maayos na paghinga ay tunay na nakaabala sa aking pakikinig sa PI 100.
Kaya lost ako kanina sobrang init pa at naubusan ako ng tubig sa aking mahiwagang jug.
Sana it will magically refill itself. Sobrang gipit din ako sa pera na kinailangan ko pang
umutang ng isang daan sa aking kaibigan buti na lang at meron siyang perang pwedeng
ipautang sakin. Masayang masaya. Masarap ang dinner ko at syempre libre ng nanay ko

kaya wala ng problema dun. Napapansin ko na ang pagkatamad ko sa mga nakaraang araw dahil panay taxi na lang ang ginagawa ko sa buhay ko. Di na ako malusog. Sabi nga eh it's just a state of the mind. Huh? Ano raw. Ayun maligyang maligaya ang araw dahil napanood ko yung Last Supper No. 3 na nanalo ng best film sa cinemalaya (deserving ang film). Sabi ko nga sa aking FB entry ay nakakatawa, nakakalungkot, nakakaawa, totoo. Figure out niyo na lang kung ano ba yung pinagsasabi ko. Nararamdaman ko na di na talaga ako healthy wala narin ang naisusulat at naiguguhit na kung ano man. Creativity where are you? Come back to me. Wow, marami akong nasulat sa blog entry ko today.

Oo nga pala gusto ko lang sabihin na delusional na si GMA. Hindi na siya na sa tamang state of mind. Kung ano man yung definition ng tama. Unhealthy a siya kaya di niya mailead ang bansa natin sa tamang paraan. Ang kailangan natin ay isang baliw na kayang bumaliktad sa tradisyonal. Deviant ba na pang development talaga.

Medyo purgado na kasi ako sa development yan ang pinagaaralan namin sa CD pero lahat may kahalagahan at merong tunay na patutunguhan.

"Honest of being Dishonest"
nice ito ba yung nakasulat last time... di ko maalala check ko na lang.

Yoko na dumating bukas yoko makita ang result ng exam ko sa SW 120
kasi feeling ko bagsak lang yun. So goodluck na lang sakin at sa mga classmates ko na nagtake at nahirapan din. Di ako iiyak if ever na bumagsak pagbubutihin ko na alng sa susunod na exam.
"Bahala na?" Can be positive and negative at the same time.

Okie kumpleto na araw ko nakapagshare ako ng kung ano man sa digital world na blank.
Kung di ako nag mamake sense patawarin niyo na ako. Kung oo nice one.

-0)-
night night

Karumaldumal

Ito ang ngyari gumagawa ka ng paper mo at sobrang kailangan mo na siyang matapos dahil sa kailangan mo lang talagang matapos kaya lang meron sa kapitbahay niyo na ayaw magpatigil sa pagkanta sa bidyoke. Grabe sobrang laki ng pressure. Ito yung potek night talaga. Kulang na ko sa tulog ng maraming oras. Sobrang daming oras. Garrr. Di ko na siya mababawi kasi sabi scientifically there is no such thing as nababawi ang tulog pag mas mahaba tulog mo. sa mga susunod na araw. Ayun sige susubukan ko ng tapusin paper ko with all disruptions from everywhere. Hahaha.
Okie.

-o)-

wishes

please do erase me from your memory
I want to stare at you and not know who I am...

the things you should have said

now I have come to realize the things that have been said were all excuses
should have just said the truth than making it all complicated
glad you found someone new to love

20

Long time no write for any blog that I have. Well I suppose no one is really reading my blog that is why no one cares if I never really write again. Isya's imagination just died one year ago due to many reasons and I don't think it will be resurrected any time soon. Writing for the sake of wanting to share some things - it is my second day of school after being absent for 1 week due to viral infection of the lungs (thought it was already H1N1 pandemic). I contemplating in this empty house waiting for the strike of Feria (typhoon heading Metro Manila tonight). I have to finish reading sack of readings, do tons of assignment papers, and just be ready for my next class. I ate instant noodles for tonight because I'm too tired to prepare real food and I was really angry with our dogs. And the blabbering continues. Pardon me for writing too many letters and words but I just have to unload the stress the I am feeling right now. After writing this I will finish reading a chapter from Introduction to Social Work for tommorows recitation and then I will sleep until the heavy rain stops. Okie, this is the sharing moment for today. Goodnight night. Wait I haven't said the word nitytoity for a long time. It does mean that that word is already RIP. Hehehe. The heck. Okie have a nice night my dearest blog moon.
-o)-

Upset

Why talk when no one listens?
Why talk when no one cares?

There are things that can really upset people. Like now I'm really upset because some people tend to put the blame on you. Making it look that every bad things happening is all your fault. The truth is they are just some trashy people who also makes mistakes like you (me in this matter.) By being upset I becoming someone I don't want to be. Being upset makes me want to tear down the person I see. I'm not perfect and you are not perfect so stop saying that is it all my fault. Bastard. I hate it when you try to be the good and be the role model one when you're not. And what did you do besides say harsh things to me -nothing you just sat there facing your shitty computer and making your ass fatter. I'm really mad and I just want to scream. Hmmm. I'm really mad. I don't deserve to be treated this way!

Looking

Looking for Tomato Love Club

hear me

Hear me scream your name and profess my love for you.
My dear Sun I still love you!

blogging again

I have been busy the past few days that is why I haven't written a thing. I've been busy thinking of what to do this summer. Will I again waste it be bum or do something creative, educational and fun? I opt for the latter one and surprise I enrolled myself to a Math class (reasons because I wanted to graduate (badly) and I need to do a lot of things so no I wouldn't be thinking of pain and longing.) Yes the class started yesterday I would say that our teacher is interesting because he fits the stereotypical math teacher type. But the knowledge he has is very broad that you can't help listening. Our first day we tackled that how World War II was a battle of Mathematicians. Whoah! That is interesting! The only problem is that his voice is so soft that the students at the back (including me) could not decipher the words he is saying (listening intently wouldn't be enough). Still looking forward to other activities this summer and as a official of our college student council I duties to attend to. The plan that I presented during our campaign is to do segregation. That plan proposal should be attended too. A lot of things to do and think about and I bet there would be no space to be sad and lonely (I do hope so). Well I don't want to be writing about the I all the time that is why I'll stop now for now. Maybe next time I'll write something more relevant than the I in here.
Goodnight night.
-O)-

separation

at the end of a relationship you always thought that it just ends that way
and nothing will bother you, you have nothing to think about and nothing to worry about.
separation easy word, easy to spell, easy to pronounce
yet hard to go through..... and not easily passable.
I got through the syndrome of post-separation
I still all the things I never thought I do ( with me without you).

Lagi kitang Naalala

"Lagi Kitang Naaalala"

lyrics by: Levi Celerio


Lagi kitang naaalala
Kahit na pilitin kong limutin ka.
Nilimot na kita sa aking buhay
Ngunit pangarap din kita.


Habang ikaw ay nililimot
Ay lalong sumisidhi ang pag-irog.
Sa aking puso ay nakalarawan,
pag-ibig mo, hirang.


Kung tunay ang tanging pagmamahal
Ay di mapaparam
Habang nagdudulot ng pighati
Lalong di mapawi.


Lagi kitang naaalala
Kahit na pilitin kong limutin ka.
Sa aking puso ay nakalarawan
pag-ibig mo, lamang.




Pag-ibig ko'y laging ikaw.

Summer is near...

Gaano kasaya mag MuL9...?

masaya talagang kunin itong subject na ito
masaya dahil sa pwere sa marami kang malalaman tungkol
sa history ng Philippine Music ay meron ding hands-on.
Yeah. Hands-on na pag play ng mga instruments.
Ito yung mga panahon na iniisip mo sana meron akong talent
sana marunong ako kumanta at tsaka kung ano pang merong
kinalaman sa Music.

Kanina yung last day of class namin at nakagawiaan na after ng class
ay magkakaroon ng concert at nag karoon nga kami ng concert.
Ang programa ay sa Indigenous music up to popular music.
Meron sa mga kaklase ko na magagaling talaga
nang gugulat ng talent at meron namang iba na masaya lang mag perform!
Ayun. Marami pang dahilan kung bakit "totally masaya"....
Ito nga ang klase ko ng di ako masayadong napressure!
Pang-relax na subject!

I'm damn sure

...that you are everything I want because you are everything I'm not!

over

yes I'm dealing with it
but now I know that it would not hurt anymore
I have this feeling that it's over - over of thinking why
and what we never did right..
I'm over thinking of all these things and I know that you have been over me
a long time already.



It's over.

here I go again....

nothing really matters at all.
time means nothing

and then

I heard your name out loud and my heart leap
wanting to hear it again....

out

nothing to exalt.

dreams becoming terrible
and Isya is still hoping for love to come back.

this heart continous to break

pano papangalanan?

gabi-gai kitang napapanaginipan
parang ayaw pakawalan ng
damdamin pati na nang pag-iisip
ikaw lagi kong naalala....

I'm a mess.

Kahit gaano kong itanggi na wala at okie na ko
hindi parin ako okie.

The pain multiplies everyday.

Move on. Sing along. Go Sideways.

I'm still hanging on.

Truthfully

Yes, I heard the song again and it made me smile and sing along.
I was happy and satisfied. I never felt any regret on hearing
Lisa Loeb's song. I never felt any regret on loving and still having that
love inside me. There is no regret at all.

I sang the lyrics and listened to it with all my heart (like I have love you
and always will.)

I am happy that I do love you and this love I have needs nothing in return.

I give this song to the sun and all the happy people.

"Truthfully"

"-this isn't what i like to call flattery,
but i know that i believe that i've found what's true,
that i've found what's you.

truthfully, i -
i'm finding finally.
truthfully, you -
you helped me find at last.
truthfully, we -
are finding out what's true.
and truthfully i am finding out what's you.

surprise, cause i was flying the plane.
surprise, cause now i'm smiling again.
surprise, cause you showed up with your parachute.
surprise, i'm kind of happy you showed up.

truthfully, i -
i'm finding finally.
truthfully, you -
you helped me find at last.
truthfully, we -
are finding out what's true.
and truthfully i am finding out what's you.

truthfully, i really can't explain, i'm floating, i'm smiling again.
truthfully, i can't ignore you, cause i've been waiting for you.
truthfully, i'm not desperate, i haven't changed my mind since we first met,
but the last thing that i want to do is to tell you that i'm right for you.

truthfully, i -
i'm finding finally.
truthfully, you -
you helped me find at last.
truthfully, we -
are finding out what's true.
and truthfully i am finding out what's you.

i'm finding finally.
truthfully, i'm finding out what's you.
i'm smiling again.
truthfully-"

Goodnight night.
-o)-
isya